This info is really all for me to process. There is a lot of alarming specific details, feelings. I feel like there is even more to add in regards to the feelings and some details. I am happy to help anyone who may ever be in any similar position to this in any way.
Thursday December 9th I was at sent home from the hospital due to bleeding episode Tuesday.
Thursday afternoon I was exhausted and stayed in bed. Friday arrived and I felt like I was still off track with sleep from the hospital stay. I stayed in bed and did get to catch about 3 hrs of a nap in the afternoon.
Evening came, I ate dinner from a wonderful new friend in the congregation. Little did I know that would be my "last" meal for a day. I felt pretty awake by the time I went to bed. Poor Matt was exhausted. We had wanted to get a bag packed, and get a little more prepped for the next episode. We didn't quite get to check that off our wish list.
It had been one of my desires to finish reading the book "The Help" while on bed rest. I stayed up and surprisingly had just 10 pages or so of the book left. So I did get to check that off. Then out turned the lights with a trip to empty my bladder. So far there had been no bleeding since Tuesdays episode.
Restless, I am looking around on the internet on my phone a about 1 am. Before Tuesday, I had hoped the Placenta Previa had resolved or at least improved enough to have the bleeds lighten up. Since I had now made a mental adjustment about the rest of the pregnancy and the inevitability of c section, I wanted to do a bit more research on c cection recovery. It was really the only area I hadn't felt as "in the know" as I needed to feel comfortable with. So I do my reading and research at about 3 am. I feel pretty informed. Have the checklist in my mind of the steps of the procedure, how to manage pain, common side effects, etc. Check. I can finally start to feel myself relax and get a bit sleepy, so I power down and try to close my eyes again.
About 5 am I wake to a big gush of blood. I tell Matt my usual line: "I'm bleeding".
I m not panicked. But a little surprised at how soon this bleed had come after the last one just 2 days ago. I lie still, on my bed. I had in the past, got up right way and tried to make it to the bathroom, however we realized that I should probably just stay still and catch the bleeding to be able to show the Dr's how much blood had been lost. So I lie there. The bleeding seems to stop gradually after 10 seconds or so. I am thinking that is it, however just about a min later, another gush about the same size happens. I am now more concerned about staining my bed, but also hoping that this bleed will clot and we can get on our way to the hospital. I get up and head to the toilet now and still more blood flows as well as more when I get there. Water also seems to come out, but that is seemingly usual as my bladder needs emptying a lot. I usually wait for the bleed to complete and then Matt helps me clean myself up. This time we don't do that and he tells me he is going to call the ambulance to take me. I know that since he says this, that he knows this is a bigger bleed and want's back up. Ok, this is good. I am in good hands I feel. Yes, I am feeling so very fortunate to have a paramedic firefighter as a husband. He hops on the phone gives the address and rundown and so thoughtfully tells them that to limit sirens for the neighbor's sake. Calm and poised but taking serious control and management.
So we just get me stood up, and down stairs gently and without the normal delays of grabbing a few things for the trip including shoes and changing clothes. We get down stairs and Matt had me lie on a towel on the tile. I still feel blood trickling occasionally, slowly. I add up that there has been about 3 3 big gushes now and some continued trickling still occurring. It is cold on the floor. Matt is gathering a few things. Local fire fighers arrive, one particularly sleepy. Ambulance arrives, and continues asking the same questions. Who, what, when , where, why. Things seem to be moving a little slow in my mind. It seems to take forever to get me up and on the way. But I am hoping that I am doing ok with the blood loss amount and trusting them and Matt at my side. I get into the ambulance and have an iv of fluid started and we head off, finally. More chit chat from the medic..C'mon people! Let's go! I, of course, had been feeling a little anxiety about how much blood I was losing. Freezing, I am quivering due to the cold. And perhaps some nerves. We arrive the hospital, feeling little trickles of blood still intermittently. We head up to L and D and get into a room right away. I have a few nurses getting my vitals and monitoring Noah. Dr Lawson arrives right away and has her calm and cool but serious demeanor. Things are being prepped for surgery if needed in the background, and I am being checked for bleeding every few minutes or so. There is a large clot forming inside me that the Dr can see and she assesses that. I am thinking, at least it is clotting and not gushing out still. No pain, cramping or contractions. Because of the clotting happening and that I am now where I need to be, I am pretty calm. On the outside anyway. The nurses all agree, as Matt tells them I am like a "duck". Which of course I don't get. So I ask. Got it.. calm on the outside, but working hard and fast under water. That is me. lol! He says I am helping him stay calm. Aww, I am glad, as I can tell he is concerned and emotions are increasing as I see his eyes swelling up.
At one point there is a lack of being able to hear Noah's heart beat, but then the Dr comes over and finds it and he is doing great in there. Whew, that was a little nerve wracking for a moment.
A catheter goes in since I will not be getting up to go anywhere soon. That is interesting but not painful or overly uncomfortable, but not something I'd sign up for. Although, having it the last few weeks to get more rest in the middle of the night did sound pretty great! It felt just a little funny "using" for the first time.
There continues to be a little more blood trickling and a gush of water also. I mentioned that, as I thought the catheter should be "catching" that. The nurses ask " Do you think your water just broke?". I surely haven't a clue, but we are thinking that that is what happened. OK. Blame it on the moon. Which came first, who knows, but this baby is ready to exit. next words from the Doc. "We are going to go ahead and deliver." OK. Her voice was smooth and words were like calm water. The pace was smooth, nothing traumatic, just steady and calm, with forward movement. It seemed about only 30 min had passed once I arrived the L and D room, when the call was made.
Matt repeats: "Ok, can I clarify? Does this mean she is going to get a c section now?" Dr: 'Yes"
I am reviewed by the anesthesiologist about my desires to refuse whole blood and parts. They simply and directly ask me if that is my choice and I say, "Yes, that is correct". The nurse repeats the question and I reconfirm. She says, "just formality". Ok, another prayer is said and relief, knowing I was in the best hands, hoping and confident that whatever happened, I would be ok. Yes, I had a flash of the "what if", but I knew everything would be ok whatever happened. Hope is powerful. And that I have. Phil 4:6, 7 in full effect.
OK, let's do this! So I get wheeled off in my bed, leaving Matt behind. That was tricky and hard, but I almost felt like a first day at school. Like I had slept in my new school clothes all night, trapper keeper stocked, prepared and ready to go. I was off to have a baby. See ya.
I get wheeled into the operating room. It immediately reminds me of a space ship. It is COLD. I am cold. I have to slide on the the small table from my other bed. Not too bad. They help me get a little more warm and calm. They tell me they are going to give me general anesthesia. I can't even imagine the other option of me getting up even to sit for some sort of spinal injection of sorts. Whatever, do what you do. I do ask though, since I had just done my reading..." Does that mean I won't get to give him breast milk at first?" Anesthesiologist replies: "No, you will be able to give him breast milk." Me: "Ok, good. Thanks!" I also ask, how soon , will I get the anesthesia and how fast will it take effect? About 1 minute away and it will kick in within about 45 seconds or so. Ahh, ok. Here is is. "Yes, feeling sleepy "I say," ok, thank you."
A little over an hour later, I wake up like I just showed up to a party. "HI!", I say. The anesth Dr says, "HI!. You are doing amazing! The best procedure I've ever had." What?? Whatever, hard to believe that, but reassuring, nonetheless. I'll take it. They tell me a little about how everything went standard and smooth with the procedure with no problems at all and how Noah is doing great. COOL! They bring me Matt's phone with a pic on it of him and Noah snuggling skin to skin already. Ahh, what orchestration. Beautiful.
Whoops, I accidentally took a pic, not knowing how to operate his phone.
Insert si-fi music. "Dee dee de do"
Dr's start chatting about coffee, and needing a cup, blah, blah, The mundane chatter is calming, like all is just hunkey dorey. La, la la.. I don't feel any symptoms at all, just feelings of excitement and presence. Cool.
I did have a little mental thought about how I would do with the anesthesia since while signing paperwork they had asked me about family members effects of it. I had heard of a few cases regarding anesthesia reactions in my family that were not so keen, and just though, "well, they are not me, so who knows how I will do?"I do remember getting emotional and teary after my wisdom teeth begin removed. So I did anticipate that possibility. Some friends had mentioned that the C section is "not that bad". So I thought of those words with relief. So far so good. No vomiting, no crazies, etc. I am awake, what more can I ask for?
Andy Cook and his wife pop in and say hello. My Hospital Liason team. What wonderful faces to see.
Now, off to see Noah to do a "drive by", they say. "Hmm", i wonder, feeling like I won't perhaps get to hold him. I am wheeled out of the OR on the hospital bed and right into the NICU. More like a "drive through". Noah is placed right on me. Ahh, my baby boy. He snuggles up and is content and looks beautiful and well. No tubes or anything that scared me at all. Monitors were on, but nothing that seemed alarming to me at all.
I got to stay there for a while. I am guessing 45 min or so. Then off to my recovery room. Ahh, we did it. I am safe, Noah is beautiful and well, Daddy is smiling. I feel happiness. We are good!
Onward and upward we go.
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